Becoming a Coach. Andrea Ford Workshop 3 Open to learning Conversations/ Difficult conversations

Summarising from the last session:

• 80/20
• wait time
• paraphrase
• setting up, body language etc
• questioning and listening
• neutral responses

Relationship is key

IN IGROWS the I for 'issue' doesn't have to be negative.

The G for a goal ....... can change

Need to be clear and give them support about how to deal with something. Constantly bringing them back to what will YOU do what do you want them to do. 

Below gets an emotional buy-in:
WHY is a good question. WHY do you want this
What will .......... mean

When do you want this happening?
then the goal is
BY the ..............
I am ........... or I have ...............
so that...........

Next part is sharing on what I want to develop

Group Coaching

Conflict resolution - parent in about a child

Team meeting

How do we gat across a common goal together?

How do you get collaboration rather than cooperation?

What do you do with the person who dominates/ passive etc?

SO then how do I et everyone contributing all buy in and taking responsibility?

Dominating - how do you see that? Talk to me how you will see this happening

Person whose not contributing?  What are your thoughts etc.  

Important for a team to collaboratively - everybody is sharing ideas and creating a new idea, people aren't afraid to challenge and disagree. So it's important to discuss what does trust look like and confidentiality... 

What does contributing look like? Everybody contributes want all to come up with ideas ( this is not happening, with one)!

What does accountability look like?  If a reading is set should do it etc. 

• this brings in ownership
• need to be clear

Need a solid foundation of trust so everyone has input.

How are we going to do this? -    Builds buy-in

Role play I did as a leader missed the goal. Make sure everyone has clarity on what our goal actually was. Scenario: Your team isn't getting enough time in a term for learning-focused conversations as you only meet every fortnight and there is a lot of admin to cover. 

So need to unpack what does a learning-focused conversation mean. ( which I didn't do)

Also unpack what is the admin? Can we put them into different categories so we can plan for it

E.g. read-only will this work? Let's come up with a plan so it doesn't clash.

Do we need to look at having more meetings? NO ok lets come up with. Do we need to have ....? all these sorts of questions so the team can come with ideas and then look at the pros and cons of each idea.

Unpack what's happening first so we don't get into solutions 

Relational trust

Have to model trust by being vulnerable??? one idea..

be honest - about confidentiality.  

Being clear about what we're doing and why we're doing it.

What if there is no trust between you and a person? Put

Open to Learning Conversations 

Observable data: no judgments made write exactly what happened. 

Separate the person from the problem.

Does the person know how you feel? Don't leave it too long.

How do we minimize or de-escalate these difficult situations:

Address everything to begin with the same in a team. So there is a consistency e.g Simon, Sally scenario! 

steps for difficult Conversations

1. Explain YOUR POV Clearly

2. 

3.Talk to me about why it wasn't there/ they'll go on. There might be a couple of things that I wasn't aware of and we wouldn't know if we didn't ask them.  

" I hear you've had a lot of things on, however, you've got until ... until we get this done. 

What are we going to do to make this happen?

4. 

5. plan forward - what support do you need to ensure this doesn't happen again./ to move forward on this-this is where something like iGrows model comes in.

Language is nonjudgmental; it is how I see it. My truth as it could be different to the other person truth

Feedback conversations HOW TO

What do we need to put in place?
How am I going to support you